Addicted
by Lyllithe
Summary: It's hard to say no to a beautiful siren like her when you've been shunned all your life, even if she comes with a heroin addiction. Inuyasha knows Kikyou will be his downfall... but isn't that what love is about?
1. Society's Dirt

**AN:** So, it's summer. This idea struck me a month or so ago, and I wanted to plan it out before I started writing. I'd to point out that this is Part I of a two-part story, and Part I _will_ be Inuyasha/Kikyou. Think of it as being parallel to the actual series - Inuyasha is with Kikyou first, however much some people might hate that. I used to a major Kikyou-basher, but now I feel like she is one of the most relatable characters. If you don't like her, and can't tolerate this pairing, please do not uselessly flame me, just hit backspace and carry on with your life.

That aside, if you're still here... constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. Enjoy!

**Edit:** Okay, I wasn't very clear last time - when I said two-part, I meant two stories, not two chapters. _Addicted_ is a series of chapters that is prequel to another series.

**(**Addicted**)**

**(**Chapter 1 – Society's Dirt**)**

The cold winter air bit at his skin, but he didn't care. The night was his domain, the only time he could walk half a block without someone leering at him. It was the filthy blood in his fucking veins, that's what it was; it was his dirtied lineage; it was the fact that he was still alive and had the audacity to look into the eyes of the purebreds that surrounded him. His golden eyes were always staring back at those who challenged him, blazing in defiance against the background of the night, silvery white locks of long hair framing them. In their opinions, half-breeds like him didn't deserve to live; such beings should be put down without delay. In their eyes, he was nothing more than a mutt, a half-breed dog. A group of rowdy demons passed by him and jeered. One girl with a short black crop and cherry red lips even spat at him. He gave them the finger over his shoulder and tuned it out when they started laughing and whooping.

"Think you're so tough?" One of them taunted, the group having stopped in their tracks.

"Doggy's got fuckin' guts! Go back to the pound where they can put you down for good!" The girl who spat on him cackled.

"Shhhut the fuck up Yura, you're sooo drunk," an equally intoxicated man slurred. Their taunts and laughter faded into the distance as he kept walking, never once looking behind him. He was used it.

He didn't say anything, maybe because he also agreed. He was nothing more than a filthy half breed, the dirt of society. Some snot-nosed kid in his 6th grade class used to tell him, "You're a pimple on society's ass and you'll never amount to anything". Maybe he had been right. Inuyasha Taisho, 21 years old, and a fucking _nobody_.

x X x X x

"_Mom, please... no," a young boy with brilliant gold eyes and silver locks cried at his mother's bedside, holding tightly to her cool hand. She was weak and pale, her once-lustrous locks matted with cold sweat and clinging to her forehead. "Mother, don't leave me... I need you." Tears streamed down the boy's face._

"_Inuyasha, I'm so sorry... I tried to fight it, I really did."_

"_Please, keep fighting it! I love you, please don't go!" _

"_I'm so sorry, baby... I love you. You'll grow up to be strong... be a good boy, listen to Sesshoumaru... I love you my sweetheart..." her eyes began to drift closed, her hand losing its grip._

"_Mom? Open your eyes, please, please!" Inuyasha wailed._

"_... you'll always be in my heart..."_

_Inuyasha stared, unable to wrap his mind around what had happened. His eyes watched hers close, never to open to again. His hand felt hers go limp. His ears heard her heartbeat stop. _

"_... mother?" he whispered hoarsely._

_Ba-dum..._

_Ba-dum..._

_...dum..._

_Nothing._

x X x X x

That had been sixteen years ago. The memory clouded over Inuyasha's mind, his own cries still resonating in his head. He remembered her death with clarity; every moment had been etched into his mind like a carving into stone. Her pale face, her sweat-matted hair, her cold hands. Why did she have to leave him? Others had shunned him when he was young, but when his mother had been there, everything was still alright. Life wasn't totally peachy, but they, along with Sesshoumaru, had been relatively content. Then for some reason, Fate saw it fit that Izayoi develop leukemia. She had fought, fought for Inuyasha's sake, for Sesshoumaru's sake, for her own sake – but the disease caught up with her and she died at Inuyasha's side when he was only six years old. His father, Inutaisho, had passed away when he was two. He vaguely remembered his father, mostly from photos. The only possession he had that was connected to his father was one of his fangs – called Tetsusaiga – which he wore on a leather string around his neck. He had been given the pendant the day of his birth. When he was 3, his mother had explained the significance of Tetsusaiga.

"_Inuyasha, listen closely. This fang, Tetsusaiga, is a fang of your father's. It keeps your demon blood in check so that you will never lose control. Do you understand?"_

Inuyasha had nodded his head before his mother gave him a loving pat and shooed him off. Back then, he hadn't really understood the importance of Tetsusaiga, but the years had taught him. When he had gotten angry, so _very_ angry, he could feel his blood begin to stir, and a rage inside him would threaten to take over his mind. He'd felt his father's fang pulse, as if to match his heartbeat, and then the rage within him would calm. At first, he hadn't understood what had happened, but after a few times he reached the conclusion that the rage he felt was actually his demon side, trying to break loose, only to be subdued by the fang. Sometimes, the desire to tear the damn thing off became so strong – Inuyasha wanted, even for a moment, to be overcome by his demon blood so that he might actually become a full demon, at least for a while. 'This worthless existence', he thought, 'this worthless, half-existence'.

After his mother's death, his full demon brother Sesshoumaru had taken care of him – minimally. Sesshoumaru's care stretched as far as letting him stay in the house and be able to sleep under a roof, and giving him food. Compassion had never been Sesshoumaru's forte, but after Izayoi's death, it disappeared altogether. He took care of Inuyasha because it was an obligation. Inuyasha gave a wry smile, but it disappeared quickly. When his mother had been alive, Sesshoumaru had an understandably cool demeanor – his father had left his mother, and then had died soon after. But he had been there; he had been a decent older brother to Inuyasha, and had helped Izayoi with various tasks around the house. He had played a key role in maintaining the balance within the family, but after Izayoi's death, all balance had shattered. Inuyasha wondered if maybe Sesshoumaru's change had something to do with her death. It was a disappointment that he couldn't ask, because the two hadn't spoken in some five years or so.

The smell of cigarette smoke and alcohol reached Inuyasha's nose and he realized he had reached his destination. A small, shabby-looking two story brick building stood on the corner of the street; its front 

doors chained and bolted shut. Inuyasha turned down the alley where the actual entrance was: a metal door with no handles. He walked up the few steps leading to the door and stood there, as if waiting for it to open – and it did.

"Inuyasha," a man in his twenties or so with a shock of bright blue hair half hidden under a large hood and a nose ring nodded as Inuyasha came in.

"Thanks, Kakeru," Inuyasha mumbled, knowing well what was under the hood. Ears: ears that distinguished him as a hanyou, a cross-breed, a misfit.

Inuyasha frequented this bar, which had been dubbed "the Freakshow" by its regulars. It was a place for half demons like him, other kinds of misfits, criminals, and whatnot. People pretty much left you alone here – though there were a decent amount of half-demons who frequented the Freakshow, they all did their own thing, and didn't talk much. The bar was a place where you could go and not be roughed up by people who didn't like you, but that didn't mean you'd be welcomed with open arms, either. Fights were not tolerated at the Freakshow – you start one, you get the fuck the out and never show your face there again. Of course, it wasn't as though just anybody was let in, anyway. People only went to the Freakshow because they didn't fit in anywhere else, or they weren't safe anywhere else. People only went because they didn't belong anywhere else. And Inuyasha, being a half-demon, was both – didn't fit in anywhere else, wasn't safe anywhere else.

He sat himself at the bar and turned to the bartender, a demoness with crimson coloured eyes and dark, and chocolate brown hair who was currently drying glasses with a square of cloth.

"What will it be tonight, Yash?" She asked, not looking up from her chore.

"Same old, Kagura," Inuyasha replied.

Kagura grabbed one of the glasses she had just dried, scooped some ice, and poured his whiskey before sliding it across the bar counter. "Enjoy."

Inuyasha held his glass up to her in thanks before taking a long drink. As he drank, he noticed someone sitting a few chairs down from him, idly fiddling with the straw in her glass. Discreetly, he gave her a once-over. Her hair was long, shiny and black, her skin a flawless ivory, the dim lights of the bar making her glow subtly. Her brown eyes stood out in contrast with the pale skin, full lashes framing them. Her makeup enhanced her features well; dark, smoky shadow and liner bringing out her eyes and cranberry lipstick making her pout look ever so kissable. Inuyasha felt a stir within him. Without a doubt this woman was beautiful, and he was familiar with physical desire – but there was something else about her that entranced him. Like a magnet he found himself pulled towards her, and shocked even himself when he slid into the seat next to her and spoke. What made him think she would reply to a half-demon like him, anyway?

"Dull night?"

The woman looked up from her drink and stared at Inuyasha, slightly surprised. Their eyes met and for a second, both felt something stir. The woman thought for a second before giving a seductive smile.

"Not anymore."

Inuyasha felt his pulse quicken, the flames of desire licking at his heart. "What's your name?"

"Kikyou."


	2. The Rush

AN: Ooohhh dear, I'm not very good with updates, am I? However, I find that I write easier with shorter chapters though. Maybe I'll be sticking with this chapter length throughout the story. The story itself probably won't change though.

Thanks for those who left kind reviews last time! Keep 'em coming.

Disclaimer: Naturally, I don't own Inuyasha. I also don't own the lyrics I've included in this chapter - they are from "A Little's Enough" by Angels and Airwaves.

**(**Addicted**)**

**(**Chapter Two – The Rush**)**

Inuyasha started going to the bar every night to see the dark haired beauty. She was entrancing, the highlight of his days – Inuyasha found himself wanting more and more. Tonight, the conversation was slow and easygoing. Inuyasha indulged himself in the sound of Kikyou's voice: deep, smooth, rich.

"Question game," she proposed.

"How does it go?"

"I ask a question, you answer."

"Isn't that just normal dialogue?"

"Whatever."

"Okay, shoot."

Kikyou took a drag from her cigarette as she pondered. "When'd you lose your virginity?"

"Senior year of high school. I met a girl while skipping class to smoke pot. We were standing in the same alley and she asked me for a light. I was handing over my lighter when she grabbed me instead and we started making out... ended up fucking her against the wall."

The raven haired siren chuckled. "Was there any follow up?"

"Followup?" Inuyasha gave a wry smile and swished around the ice cubes in his drink. "She was stoned out of her mind. She probably didn't realize I was a hanyou, otherwise she wouldn't have fucked me."

"I don't know... you're cute enough," Kikyou said with a half-grin, the smile not reaching her smoky eyes. The two were silent for a moment before she spoke again. "Your turn."

"Uh... favourite drink?"

"Rum and coke. Ever gone travelling?"

"If only. I ain't got the money. Got any siblings?"

"Yeah, I have a sister..." she was talking about her younger sibling but Inuyasha found that he couldn't focus on the words she was saying. He was entranced by her lips, luscious looking pillows, soft and wet, opening and parting; wrapping themselves around the words she formed. He felt himself stir again, his eyes clouding over with desire. A thought occurred somewhere in his subconscious and he spoke automatically, mechanically, eyes still fixed on Kikyou's luscious mouth.

"What made you decide to talk to me?"

She looked at him, not saying anything at first. She wanted – no, needed – someone like him. Kikyou cast a glance into his cloudy eyes, eyes full of pain and sorrow and desire, desperation for touch.

"You, you're like me," Kikyou spoke, breaking the silence. "We're lonely. You're even lonelier than I am. We are outcasts, not by choice, but simply because we don't fit in with the other people. The rest of them, they're all happy, no matter how they say they aren't. They all have something to live for. But us, we're different. We're alone."

Inuyasha shifted out of his reverie. He opened his mouth and was going to mention that she had a sister, had family, and therefore had something to live for, when he remembered his half brother. Having family didn't always equate to happiness.

"I know what you're going to say. I have a sister, right? But it's not enough for me. It's not just because we're not particularly close – it's just... what does blood matter? What significance does blood relation have? It doesn't fill the void in me. The thought that I have family and yet it doesn't satisfy me only widens the void. In the past, I've surrounded myself with people, wanting to close the gap, only to feel more and more distanced. There is an emptiness within me that others cannot fill, and I have stopped trying to find something that will fill that emptiness. My attempts have been futile. I've tried to change who I am, but I know it's a lie. So I've come to terms with it – I'll take the consequences of being cold and distant with others. This is me."

"Have you given up on finding something to live for?" Inuyasha asked. Kikyou stayed silent.

_**I, I can do anything**_

"Have you given up the hope that you can find something – _someone – _to fill your emptiness?" He asked again with fervour.

_**If you want me here**_

The passion Inuyasha spoke with surprised Kikyou and she looked up into his eyes. They were filled with raw emotion, and she felt herself go weak.

"I... I don't know."

"Let me fill the emptiness within you." He spoke with such intensity and confidence as he had never felt before. The two stared at one another, fixated on each other.

"Take me home with you," she whispered.

x X x X x

_Warm touches. Hot kisses. Thawing hearts. _

Inuyasha could not remember a time he had felt so wanted. At one point, he had been loved, but that had been by his own mother, and it was different. This, this primal desire mixed with something else, something he could not place, was new. This woman made his emotions go haywire. She made his heart speed up, yet his brain shut down. She was dangerously beautiful, fatally attractive, and yet Inuyasha's mind recognized that inside, maybe she was as ugly as he was. But right now, that didn't matter. All that mattered was this feeling... _I am wanted_ _by another_... he inhaled the scent of roses that surrounded him and engulfed his senses.

**_And I can fix anything_**

He swallowed thickly, his own blood searing his veins, focusing on the warmth, the rhythm, the sounds of skin on skin, the gasps, the moans, the deep, heavy breathing.

Kikyou entangled her fingers into his silver hair, gasping. "I-Inuyasha..."

The sound of her rich voice calling his name sent him over the edge, and she followed right after.

**_If you let me near_**

X X x X x

Kikyou sighed and glanced at Inuyasha, sound asleep beside her. He looked rather tense.

'_You can learn a lot about people by observing their sleeping habits_,' Kikyou thought. '_But_ _it's no mystery that he's a rather troubled man_.' Letting out another soft breath, the dark haired woman quietly slipped out of bed, reclaiming her underwear and shirt off the floor. She grabbed her jacket and pulled out a small plastic bag. Glancing over her shoulder to check on Inuyasha, she made her way to the bathroom. Shutting the door softly, she caught a glance of herself in the mirror – smudged makeup, tousled hair, and eerily pale under the fluorescent lights of the bathroom.

_**What are those secrets now**_

'_There are certain things that leave us vulnerable. We're vulnerable when we're sleeping; when we're making love..._'

She took the bag and tipped it gently, making a line of white, crystalline power on the bathroom counter. '_... When we're alone..._'

_**That you're too scared to tell**_

Pulling her hair back and dipping her head down to the counter, she pressed down one side of her nose, leaving one to inhale the substance. There it was again, that empty feeling, needing to be filled. She paused.

'_Ultimately, it's still our waking actions and choices that define us_.'

In one quick sweep, the heroin was gone. She sank to the floor, leaning against the sink and waiting for the rush.

'_Vulnerability isn't an excuse, I guess.'_

x X x X x

AN: Reviews greatly appreciated. :)


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